I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
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