He managed to light the Jello on fire...
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
