cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
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