Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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