Tell her she can't have a vagina
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
