3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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