so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
