I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
