You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
