I wish my penis had an off switch
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
