Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
