I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Non-Jews are for practice
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
