these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
After last night, I could never be a politician.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
