are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
