Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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