I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
