my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
