My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
whose parrot is this?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I just had sex on a roof
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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