No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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