There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Randomize
