roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
