I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize