Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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