Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
