I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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