At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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