I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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