at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
So much Jack, so little girl.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
