I want to have your abortion
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
