Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize