I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
