Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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