did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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