The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
