So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
please come you make the beer taste better
sarcasm needs its own font
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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