Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
