I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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