You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
