I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
