I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
