Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
