Where is the hickey?
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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