There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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