If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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