Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
