She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Randomize
