Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
