i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
