Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
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