That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
