didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
