Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
