I think im going to throw up on grandma
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
