Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I am never drinking with the goths again.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
