I don't usually arrange sex via text message
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
