Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
