the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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