you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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