Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
thus making me awesome and them whores
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
